Thursday, August 8, 2013

Want to be a Stay at Home Mom or Work at Home? Here are Some Thoughts

Yes, Yes, Yes

I know that most of you are probably saying yes to the above question but have you really taken the time to think about what that means for you.  Being a mom is something that few take lightly.  Most moms are faced with a tough decision when their infant is around eight weeks old, deciding whether they will go back to work, leaving their new baby with a trusted loved one or in daycare, or if they are going to be able to stay home with their new bundle of joy.

What no one tells you is that being at home with your children is hard work.  It is constant attention that you are giving to someone else and rare moments that you have alone.  Some days there is no time for you to even take a shower or do the things that make you feel like you.  Instead you are constantly someone's mom and you can start to feel as though you are losing pieces of your identity. 

The following are some questions that you should ask yourself before you decide if being a stay at home or work at home mom is for you.

What do you enjoy most in life?

For me the answer to this before I was a stay at home mom would have been an afternoon shopping, a nice massage and the chance to pick up the latest make up trends.  After being a work at home mom I am able to make some money but I do not end up getting to focus on work as much as I did before I stayed home and that means that I do not make as much money as I did before.  It also means that I have had to sacrifice a lot of things. 

Today if you asked me the same question my answer would be a hot bath by myself with some nice scrubs and a movie on my iPad.  So it is likely that you will end up sacrificing some of your favorite things in order to stay home and be with your children.  Some days I struggle with this.  I will be honest but others I have no problems at all.  In the end I know that this is where I was meant to be.

Do you need to earn an income?

In my situation an income was not necessary in the beginning when I wanted to stay home.  It still is not a necessity but I like to be able to shop and spend money so with a one person working in come that is just not always possible.   I have always worked at home as a freelance writer for as long as I have stayed home.  I have attempted to do other things during this time but I have not made the amount of money that I have always hoped to make.

If you need to earn an income have you thought about how you will earn it?

Prior to staying home I knew that I had a strong desire to write.  I also knew that I had the talent that was needed and that I was able to find freelance jobs.  I registered with different freelance websites and I wrote from home and during my lunch and breaks at work to see if I could really make money with writing.  I was able to and this is what allowed me to know that I would be fine while staying at home.  The world of freelance is not easy but it is something that you can do if you are willing to start from the bottom and work your way up.

Be sure that you test your ability to make an income while you are still working if an income is necessary.  There are a lot of options out there, all of which I will discuss in future posts, but you are going to have to know that you can do it and that you will be successful before you take that leap.  If you take that leap too soon you could end up with a lot of stress that you are not prepared for and stress that is unfair to your family.

Do you realize that you might not have time alone for a long time?

One thing that I did not think about when I first decided to stay home is that I would not have time to myself ever.  I thought that I would still get the same amount of free time to do the things that I enjoyed and that I would still slip away from time to time alone for things like shopping.  To be honest this rarely happens for me and most of the time (98%) I would say that this fine.  The other slight part of the time (2%) is where I struggle and think that I need a bit of a break and some time to find myself.

My tip to you is to remember to make time for something you love each day.  It does not matter if that thing that you love is the gym, writing, reading, or taking a bath but it is important that you have some time where you are able to solely focus on yourself for a while.


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